The Parchment and Quill Collective

Written by Lou Turnbull (2022)

In. Out.

It’ll be fine. It’ll definitely be fine. She would come around and we’ll be okay, right?

In. Out.

She still loves you. She just needs time to come around. It’s a big thing, and you know change isn’t an easy thing for anyone in this family.

In. Out.

They’ll be okay with it. We’ll be okay, it’ll take time, but we’ll be okay. We might not talk for a while, and that’s okay too.

~

Their chest shuddered and heaved with panicked sobs, their body trembling like a leaf in cyclonic winds. It wasn’t a surprise, since a tornado just tore through and ripped their life to utter shreds.

They tucked their knees closer to their chest, an undying hope to curl up and disappear ever-present in the front of their mind. They glanced at their phone for the seventh time in less than a minute.

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself.”

A gentle hand tugged their phone away from their hand, placing it face down on the desk. He knelt in front of them, taking their hand and unfurling their fingers before their hands began to bleed.

“Breathe. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. Just follow me.”

He took a deep breath in, before letting the air escape from his mouth.

They followed, as best an attempt they could muster, letting air flow into their lungs as they tried to even their breathing.

“There you go, that’s it.”

Their eyes darted away from him to their phone on the desk behind him. Whether he picked up on it or not, they didn’t know, but he blocked their view either way.

“What’s going through your head? Pick one thing and just speak,” he said softly, squeezing their hand gently.

A shuddering breath.

A shiver down their spine.

“Why would she accept me before and not accept me now? I’m still me, just like I was before. I just don’t understand.”

A soft hiccup of a sob.

“And I understand it’s a big change and change is scary, I get that. But does she not understand how terrifying it is for me? I-”

He squeezed their hand once more as a sob forced its way up their throat.

“She simply won’t understand Love. She’s never had to experience it. And while you might still be the kid you always were, in her mind, she’s mourning the daughter she lost. She’ll come around,” He whispered.

Hot tears rolled down their cheeks, body trembling with emotional overwhelm, and he sighed softly. Never letting go of their hand, he moved from kneeling on the floor to sit next to them on the bed, before pulling them into his side in a tight embrace.

“I’ve always had her in my corner, she’s been there for me, no matter what. This is the first time where I haven’t had her, and I don’t know what I’m doing,” they admitted quietly, leaning into his chest as their tears finally began to dry.

“It’ll be okay. You still have us, right? We’re still here. You aren’t alone. We’ll get you through this,” he murmured softly, their grip tightening around them.

“You’ll get there. I know you will.”